Just over two years ago I was lying on a table in an operating theatre awaiting the birth of my second child. If I remember rightly I was quite loudly and vehmently saying "never again" to the young and rather frightened looking anethetist. However now my eldest is about to start school and my youngest is becoming a little boy rather than a baby I find that I might be changing my mind.
Ironically I was never a particularly maternal person before I had children. I would sigh in dread if we got on a flight full of children when on holiday and glare at parents if their children were loud and badly behaved in a restaurant (don't worry - karma soon got me back for that one!). Then I had my daughter and I loved being a mum but being an only child myself I would have been quite happy with one. My husband had other ideas though and two years later we had my son.I fell in love with him and I thought that was it.
But there still seems to be a bit of a niggle in my mind that my family is not quite complete. I look at family photos and wonder if there should be a third little face peeping out at me, I weep whilst watching One Born Every Minute and admit to feeling a little bit envious when I see a glowing pregnant woman, although I was far from glowing in both my pregnancies!
When I try to think about it rationally I can see both pros and cons of having a third child. It would mean needing a bigger house, a bigger car and paying more for holidays. However it would also mean a large family full of noise and hopefully laughter. I think that as an only child I'm also aware that my children do not have many relatives on my side of the family so part of me wants to create a large support network for them.
So am I crazy to want a third or should I fulfil my dreams? Would it mean an idyll of three beautifuly dressed and well behaved children living an Enid Blyton life - going rockpooling, enjoying country rambles and reading stories around a roaring fire. Or would it mean me sitting in Pizza Express frantically trying to glug a glass of wine whilst simultaniously feeding a baby, preventing a toddler from throwing their plate on the floor and trying to dodge pasta thrown by an irate and ignored eldest?
Do you have one, two, three or even more children? Help me decide!
I struggled with this one last year. I love the idea of a 'tribe', but can I go through babydom again? Just now my two have reached the stage where we can go on real adventures together, no worrying about nap times or suitable food, just head off. But my babies have gone. Weep. Finally, it occured to me that I didn't really want another baby, I just wanted my first ones again, but I can't, that part of life is past and now is the time to enjoy them for who they are now.
ReplyDeleteHi yellowfieldscamping you make a really good point. It could be that I am just missing the my children at the baby stage rather than wanting another baby. Life is a lot easier when they are more independent and you don't have to revolve around their routines. Also great advice to enjoy them as they are now. Its a lovely (if challenging) stage!
ReplyDeleteI only have one but have been broody for another since she was about 6 months old. I hear going from one to two is supposed to be the hardest though?
ReplyDeleteOne Mother's Notes you are definitely right, the lotteryadjustment from one told two is hard, but worthwhile! Hertfordshiremummy, when I had my 2nd I said exactly the same, but when I see pregnant women I get a pang of jealousy running through me, but I no i am done with having more, unless of course i won the lottery and I could afford to have lots!
ReplyDeleteAfter 6 kids I was sterilised, otherwise I'd never have stopped! Still get broody (my youngest is 6) but, after 16 years having kids at home, I didn't know what to do with myself when she started school last year. Definitely going from 1 to 2 is the hardest part, after that any extra kids just add to the family - whether it's one more of 10 more! I'm lucky in that my kids are all well-behaved and really bright; my friends are lucky because every time they throw a party they have an instant guest list by inviting us :)
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